Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Why I would not be too dreadful a girlfriend.

Being Valentine's day and all, I've been pondering and have come up with a list of reason's why I would in fact be a fabulous other half. Please note, they are not ranked in order.

1. I make an effort. I dress well and appropriately; never will you have to worry about being the douche who's girlfriend has worn ridiculous heels to a gig and NEVER will I turn up to meet you wearing a JLS hoodie. In fact you will never see me in any JLS related merchandise.

2. I am the cheapest date around and will not judge if coupons are used. I see these as a sign of financial sensibility, 10 points to you. I am not a connoisseur of food so will not be able to tell if we're in a posh restaurant or not.

3. I cringe at the words 'gamer girl'. I am not a fucking weirdo who seems to think that pretending to play on COD will attract every eligible bachelor to my door. I played on Simpson's road rage once and I was god awful. So if you want to spend the night in with 'the ladz', rimming the sky or whatever it is you do, I could not care less, in fact I will probably be grateful because I can catch up on Glee.

4. I have good music tastes (see dislike for JLS point 1). I can also appreciate that there are different types of music and if you enjoy listening to a man cough and scream about insides then that is just lovely for you.

5. I enjoy watching fail videos on YouTube.

6. I have a pretty snazzy bunch of friends so will not need to be with you 24/7, you are also safe from horrendous status updates about how much I love and miss you.


8. I am smart, though one time I did forget what a sausage was. But that was a long time ago. I know now. But seriously I am quite clever, but not overpowering or intimidatingly (hence the sausage debacle.)

9. Unless you have straight up offered to pay, of course we will be going halves. I ain't no gold digga.

10. I'm fucking hilarious.

11. Parents love me, they do. A friend's mum once drove to my house by mistake, and upon being told they weren't going to mine replied 'oh, I wish we were...' How sweet.

12. I like doing interesting things. Crazy Golf is considered a perfect date in my books. Also if you have a cat I am quite content with coming round and playing with it. I can also drive, yay road trips.

13. I can appreciate the hotness of women, because some of us are really damn fine. If we're watching a film with a fine specimen of a lady in I will not mind if you comment, because you can guarantee the same will happen to you if we watch anything with Johnny Depp in. Or Bradley Cooper.

14. I give really good....presents. (double entendre there is prime example of my hilarity ha ha ha) But I really do, I also make great photoshop cards and if you drop any hints you can be sure they'll be saved on my phone quicker than you can say 'notepad app'.

15. I don't really know anything about football, but have done quite a bit of acting before so you will never know that while you're explaining your fantasy team to me, I'm actually thinking about crisps. (Speaking of crisps, I'm also really easy to buy for, Literally a multipack would make me happy.)

16. I'll probably be famous one day, no biggie. I'll get you free shit.