Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Small and mighty. Like Persil. But less dissolvable.

I've Googled. The average height of a women in the UK is 5'4. I am 5'4 (and a bit) so there, average, not below, so technically, technically, not small. Though I am perfectly fine with it, so sorry if you feel my size is criminal, sorry I'm not towering above you. People remarking 'oh aren't you small!' won't change anything and while it does means I strain to reach the glasses at the pub (much to the amusement of the locals who have started a fund for a ladder) it doesn't mean I am a feeble, pathetic girl.

I've been on week long camping trips, being in the general scouting movement (necker, badges, the whole shebang no shame). I've battled through day long hikes, arrived at the site, built a shelter from anything we can find (and occasionally some convenient tarpaulin) then cooked food over a fire and slept under the stars. Oh and then hiked back the next day, carrying everything. In fact I'm pretty sure I can cook better over flames than I can in the kitchen.
I survived Leeds Festival, which for anyone who was there in 2011 will know that involved avoiding death by drowning in mud. Our tent flooded and we slept in the car, how is that a cop-out? That's damn resourceful if you ask me. And anyone who went to the toilet after the first day deserves a medal.

I do not have a particularly high pain threshold, but I have a lot of willpower. Plus I'm stubborn, so if someone claims I can't do something I usually try super hard to do it before (SOMETIMES) giving up (privately and with crisps). You'd be surprised by the amount of people who can't go one day without a shower, or everything they need to preen and groom around them. That's nice, of course, I'd rather live in my house than in a box, but I'm not adverse to slumming it for a while. Plus I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven that a bed feels 97% better when you've been away.

So my dear friends, please don't underestimate me, I know a few knots and I could kill you with one finger.*

*not actually true **
**I'd need two.

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